I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
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I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
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Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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