just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
