K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
