my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
