I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
