We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
