I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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