I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
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Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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