I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize