Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
