I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
