I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
