Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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