Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize