im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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