1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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