Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize