im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
