you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
