Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
