if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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