I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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