from now on my penis is your penis
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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