If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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