He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
