Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
