The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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