She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
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I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize