my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
