The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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