His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
