Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
