At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
