Jerry, you need to find god
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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