at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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