Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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