dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
