I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize