the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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