So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize