I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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