Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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