Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
