It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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