he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Church boner. Awkwardddd
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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