we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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