I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
how does that bad decision feel?
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