Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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