She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
