dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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