I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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