with your own penis?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
