You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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