The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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