i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
