her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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