using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
