went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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