so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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