We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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