so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
COCAINE IS GR8
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
