need another drink. this is the easiest way
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
