somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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