I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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