It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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