Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
