all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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