i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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