and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
