i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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