Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
