Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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