I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
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i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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