She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
