you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize