Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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